There was a song that, a few years ago, meant a lot to me... "3 in the morning, and I'm still awake, so I picked up a pen and a page..." Back then, I struggled with laying awake for hours, almost nightly. Well, it's not 3 a.m. now; it's just 4 a.m., but I still can't sleep!
It's been over a year now that I've lived away from home, church, friends, and most of my other comfort zones. In retrospect, it's been crazy. That's the only word I can find to describe it. I've had victory, defeat, victory again... I cannot think of a single area of my life that hasn't been changed. God has been so faithful through it all. Growing pains aren't always fun (that's why they're "pains" eh?) but, the obvious obviousness of them is that in the end, you've grown. (the fact that I'm writing at 0400 is becoming quite obvious the longer I type. maybe I should attempt sleep before proceeding!) But despite my "stretching" experiences, *no pun intended*, I'm so thankful for it all!
Moving back to Ohio is looking more and more difficult, but I feel that it's God's will, so that's what's going to happen! I can't wait to be around likeminded friends and family again and have the opportunity to attend church often. I cannot imagine leaving the Home though. I've become so attached to it- the volunteers, kids, Shultz's, everyone and everything. Living somewhere like that for almost a year, it's impossible for it to not become your life!
I'm headed to camp in less than 36 hours... I packed this morning to come home and then headed to work. This evening after I got off, the girls helped me load up my stuff and get ready to pull out. Goodbye's were so hard. There were tears, laughter, and a few more memories to be made before I pulled out... You'd have never believed I was only leaving for 2 weeks! But, it's the beginning of many hard goodbyes (several volunteers will be gone by the time I get back and a few leaving very shortly after). I'm thankful for the opportunity to be able to serve here and get to know the girls. Goodbye's aren't easy, but I wouldn't wish it differently. Hard goodbye's- real friends! God has taught me so much through the girls I work with! I'm going to miss the "sisterhood" of the volunteer house.
So, I really don't know what the point of any of that was because I can't think straight...
enjoy a view into my mind at 0430- it's a rare opportunity! :)
Soli Deo Gloria!
Courtney
